A Raven's Sacrifice
by highenough
Summary: A provoked Raven loses control over her least liked emotion, Rage, which nearly kills someone. Scared for her friends and Beast Boy, she leaves the Titans. In the end, she might have to make an ultimate sacrifice for those she loves. BBRae.
1. Chapter 1

**--A Raven's Sacrifice--**

**Disclaimer: I don't own everything except the plot. Now, on with the story!**

"Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!" the alarm sounded as a red light flashed on and off.

"Titans, trouble!"

"You're doing a wonderful job in stating the obvious." An unblinking Raven dryly commented.

"Why, thank you."

Robin rolled his eyes at the violet-haired girl.

"What is the matter, friend Robin?" enquired Starfire, who had just drifted in upon hearing the alarm.

Beast Boy groaned.

"Aw man, don't tell me it's another robbery!"

Cyborg stormed in.

"This better be good. Bird-brain, I was.." He stuck out his thumb and index finger- "this close to beating BB's high score on the Game Station!"

"Dude!" The green changeling huffed. "So not!"

Cyborg rolled his eyes. "So too!"

"Break. It. Up." Raven hissed, voice dangerously low. Her face was twisted into her trademark glare. Beast Boy and Cyborg knew better than to mess with that.

"The sooner we get there, the sooner we can kick their butts, and the sooner we can go about our business. So. Shut. Up!" Raven continued.

"Uh-h, y-yea-h-h." Beast Boy gulped.

"Alright. Finally. Star, you carry Cyborg since it's only a few streets away, so we wont need the T-car. Everyone else, you know the drill." Robin commanded in his leader-tone.

"Aye-aye, cap'n!" Beast Boy stood to mock attention.

"Lets rock."

Starfire smiled. "Let us partake in the kicking of butt! Am I correct?"

"Yeah, Star."

"Joy." Raven's monotone once again stopped the flow of nonsensical blabbering. "Now are we going or what?"

With that, she jumped onto a black disc of magic and made her way to the robbery.

A green hawk sped after her, followed by Robin, Starfire and Cyborg, Robin using his grappling hooks to swing himself from building to building.

"Titans, go!"

The hawk morphed into a wolf, crouched, sleek and silent. Starfire tensed, emerald starbolts at the ready. Robin took a fighting stance, poised with his trusty Bo staff in his hands.

"One…." he counted under his breath. "Two…three."

Exactly on cue, the door to the jewelry store burst open, revealing a gang of youths, one of which was carrying a sack of precious stones and gems.

"Shoot, it's them!"

Cyborg smirked.

'Dang straight."

Beast Boy just snarled, exposing vicious canine teeth.

"Titans, go!"

Soon, the robbers were all tied up.

"That was easy, dude!" Beast Boy joked.

"The police will be here any-

"Let them go, or the girl gets it." A suave voice cut Robin's firm one.

They turned to the sound of the voice.

"Raven!"

She struggled against the hold of one of the robbers, a muscular one at that, with a gun pressed to her head.

"You…" she hissed dryly, gritting her teeth. "Are…touching…me…I warn you…" Her monotone held a tinge of disgust and panic.

"Enjoying it? No?" He snickered menacingly. "Well, little lady, how about…" His eyes lit up as he slid his hands up and down her petite frame. "Now.." a growl filled with lust escaped his throat.

Beast Boy growled along, trembling with rage. He didn't like this one bit. He was _touching her._ There seemed to be a monster in his chest, roaring, snarling, twisting his insides, at the scene before him. _Let go of her…before I inflict some serious bodily harm just below the belt. _His eyes flashed.

"I…warned you…" Raven choked on a gasp as he rubbed her abdomen.

Her eyes flashed. She struggled against his hold…but inside, she was struggling for control. No…Rage was…overpowering her.. she must …not let…_no!fight it, damnit!_

"Azarath…" she started.

"Not a word, lassie." He snapped. He pressed the gun closer to her head. "Not unless you want your pretty little brain to be blasted out onto the street….although before that, I'm gonna have some fun with you first." He sneered at her.

His hands roamed freely, touching her…in places…

"You know, for a superhero, you're hot." His voice husky.

Raven felt rage win the battle inside her.

_No! _She frantically thought. _No!_ She fought to regain control of her body.

Too late.

Her eyes glowed red with demonic power. Rage had completely overtaken her.

"No more Miss Nice girl.." She sneered.

Except... she wasn't 'her' anymore.

Black light enveloped him and wrenched him away from her.

"Let get…dirty." Rage hissed, cackling madly.

"Azarath." She rose into the air.

"Friend raven!"

"Aww, dear, Raven's not here anymore!"

Black light flowed from her hands and shot towards the light that was enveloping him. On contact with it, lightning flashed inside the sphere. Black lightning.

The man convulsed in pain. If any, Rage got happier.

"Metrion."

The lightning flashed harder. More intently.

"Raven, snap out of it!" Robin yelled. The rest watched in horror as Raven lost control.

Now the man was screaming, shrieking in pain.

"Zinthos!"

The lightning grew bigger…and bigger…flashed brighter…

He wasn't screaming anymore. Wasn't moving….

"Raven! STOP!" Beast Boy shouted. " Raven! RAVEN!" He ran forward changed into a hawk and landed on her shoulders.

Red eyes changed back to violet ones. Raven gave a small gasp, fell, and collapsed onto the floor, breathing heavily. She shakily got into a kneeling position.

"Robin…" she started weakly, and coughed, eyes downcast.

"Robin…" she gestured to the lifeless body on the pavement.

He felt for a pulse. He had one. _Damn._ _He should have died, he thought. Poor Rae.._

"He'll live." He stated sourly. "What.. about you?" He ventured, slowly.

Raven just stared with a blank look on her face.

"Beast Boy…I could've...killed you…I did…I did…that!" Raven whispered, unbelieving, in her usual monotone.

"Don't blame yourself, Rae. He was the one who started it." Cyborg looked disgustedly at the man.

"Yes, friend Raven. You did it by means of protection." Star's emerald eyes gleamed with suppressed anger. "If I was you, I would have done the same thing!"

"Don't be too hard on yourself, Rae." Robin repeated.

Beast Boy didn't say anything. He dropped to his knees beside her on the cold, hard pavement. His friends used words to soothe people…he used touch. Besides, as Raven has said one day…he didn't have the brains to do 'that sort of thing.'

She was shaking uncontrollably, her familiar blue hood and cape askew.

He had no words.

He reached out and rubbed her back soothingly.

Tears were forming at the corner of her eyes.

"How…could…I…" she gasped, her voice still the same, but shaking.

He gathered her in a hug. She needed one. She could kill him later. Her arms encircled him as she returned the hug, surprising him and even surprising herself. She squeezed her guilt and disbelief into him, burying her head into his shoulder, trembling. He was still rubbing her back soothingly in circles, softly, gently.

"Shh, Rae……shhh…it's ok…" He comforted her. No words.

She wouldn't cry…he knew that. She was Raven. The strong one.

His warmth flooded her, calmed her, soothed her. To think, Beast Boy, of all people…she couldn't help it. Her mouth curved upward in the tiniest of smiles. A light pink flush stained her pale cheeks. This felt…_good…_

He somehow managed to reach for her cloak which had fallen off her shoulders and reattached it, letting the hood fall across her face. He knew she would want a bit more privacy when they got up.

The other three watched with knowing smiles.

"_Who would have thought.." _Cyborg mused._ "BB and Rae…hmmm…"_

"Thanks…BB." She whispered as he helped her up.

"No problemo- Hey, did you just call me BB?" he teased.

"What if I didn't?" She returned his smile, albeit with a small one, and jumped onto a black disc to make her way to Titan's Tower.

Thoughts swirled like whirlpools in her head….

She shivered when the full force of what she had done hit her like a ton of bricks.

That could have been anyone, she realized. _Robin….Star….Cyborg… _she shuddered.

_Beast Boy…_

She gasped. She didn't know why…but the though of that happening to the little green changeling was more than she could bear. Butterflies exploded in the pit of her stomach, but not the ones that gave her a nice feeling…these butterflies gave a feeling of dread, at the mental image of him lying on the cold, stone, pavement.

_Still…._

_Unmoving…_

_No! _Her head whirled in panic. Why was it affecting her so much? She nearly fell out of the sky in her dizziness.

_It could have happened…_

_To anyone…_

_I should have known better. I should have known…_

…_I'm a half-demon, damnit…_

_I'm…dangerous…_

_I'm…putting my friends in danger…_

_My friends…_

She was at Titan's tower.

_That was quick…_

Her friends arrived, one by one.

"Time for dinner." Cyborg commented.

"Tofu stir-fry, anyone?" Beast Boy asked.

"……."

"Erm..Never mind I asked…"

"I'm not hungry."

Everyone turned too look at Raven, who got up from her seat, chair scraping across the floor.

"I think I'll just meditate for a little while."

She gave a small, reassuring smile to everyone at the table.

"Don't worry so much. I'm fine."

She made her way to her room, lounging in the darkness and comfort that it offered. She got into a cross-legged position, ready to meditate.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos….Azarath Metrion Zinthos…."

"_Raven, snap out of it!" Robin yelled. The rest watched in horror as Raven lost control._

_Now the man was screaming, shrieking in pain. _

"_Zinthos!"_

_The lightning grew bigger…and bigger…flashed brighter…_

_He wasn't screaming anymore. Wasn't moving…._

"_Raven! STOP!" Beast Boy shouted. " Raven! RAVEN!" He ran forward, changed into a hawk and landed on her shoulders._

"Ah!" Raven yelped in fright, back in reality. _No..she did that…_

_Could have been…anyone…_

_Cyborg…Robin….Star…_

_Beast…Boy…_

_I'm too dangerous…to stay here…._

_Could have been….anyone…_

_I'm sorry, guys…._

She nodded, grimly to herself. She had only one option…to save her friends…Beast boy…

_I'm sorry._

Only when darkness enveloped their side of the world in a soft blanket did she leave the confinement of her room. A white note lay on the fluffy pillow of her ready-made bed. She glanced around her room, one last time.

_Goodbye._

She had a knapsack on her back, and nothing more. Her clothes…money…one book or two…

She stole out, noticing the beautiful full moon tonight, almost as if it was leading the way for her, lighting a path away from her friends, away from Beast Boy…but still, a beautiful full moon in its right.

Bitter sweetly beautiful.

"Raven?"

She gasped. "Beast Boy? What are you doing down here?"

"I could ask you the same thing, Rae. Where are you-

His eyes caught sight of her knapsack. He understood.

"Rae…don't…please…"

She sighed. This was going to be tough.

"BB…"she said softly. " I'm dangerous. Everyday, I'm putting you and the others in danger…I could kill you all…I love you all too much for that to allow it to happen. I have to leave.."

"Rae! Please…" He begged, nearly crying. "You're not dangerous…You have to stay, Rae! Please!"

"Don't cry for me, BB, I'm not worth it."

"Raven…"

"Look at me."

She placed her hands, softly on his shoulders and gently turned his head to hers.

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do, Rae…" He whispered. " I love you…"

"Then BB, if you love me…"

"Let me go…"

"Raven…"

Beast Boy gathered her into a hug. No words….

No words…

"BB…I love you too…"

"Rae…promise me you'll come back…"

"I don't know, BB, I don't know."

If she didn't have a heart of stone, she would have died at the look he was giving her. No…she must be strong…for Beast Boy…for her friends…

They moved closer, and Beast Boy captured her lips with his, gently caressing her lips in a soft, first kiss.

Fireworks exploded…as they were supposed to…

Loud yet silent…

As the waves roared and crashed onto the shore…but there was no wind…

The feeling was like the darkest of dark chocolate-

Sweet, yet-

Bitter…

Bittersweet…

Oh, the irony of it all…

The waves still crashed as they moved apart.

A first kiss, with a love they never knew…

But the first kiss meant-

_Goodbye._

No words.

Nothing needed to be said.

He understood.

She understood.

As she melted the night, she stole one, last look at him.

He caught her gaze, silent, understanding.

They smiled. They would love each other no matter where the other was.

It didn't matter that she didn't promise to come back…

Because he knew she would.

And that was more than he could ask for.

He would be right here, waiting…

Even if she took forever.

"Goodbye…" they whispered, together, to the wind, knowing that the other could hear.

"_Goodbye…"_

**A/N: Hope you liked it: My first ever TT fanfic. Please review, flame, make a comment whatsoever, I'll appreciate it! Thank you! **


	2. Chapter 2

**--Chapter 2--**

**Disclaimer: Instead of making a 'disclaimer' note in every chapter, I'm going to make this disclaimer signify for every other chapter as well. Ok? Ok. So…I don't own anything except the idea and the plot. **

Hazel-specked green eyes stared at the calendar pinned roughly to the green coloured walls of the room.

June first, 2005.

One year.

365 days.

8,760 hours…

525,600 minutes.

He was still waiting.

She'd laugh at him right now if she was here, he'd never been the 'deep' type, in her opinion.

He chuckled.

"If only you knew, Rae…"

The green changeling turned his gaze to a lone, silver framed photo by his bedside.

A picture of Raven, taken just a day or so before she left.

She was smiling, a rare sight that he reveled in every night, just before bedtime.

The picture would have been surprising to anyone who took a look.

She was dancing freely in a torrential downpour, looking as elegant as ever in her leotard and cape. Pale, long arms extended to the heavens, as if she was begging for more, as the rain fell down mercilessly.

She never knew that he ever snapped the picture to begin with.

She had been tending to her garden, her own, private place, although it was open to fresh air, next to the rooftop.

It shocked everyone to know that she could ever care for something.

Blue and purple dominated the little secret garden, with an occasional white and red here and there to liven things up. She went up there almost every day to tend for her 'babies', caring for them better than any famous gardener ever could.

That day was a sunny day, and she had decided to visit her garden. All of a sudden, it had begun to rain heavily and Beast Boy had decided to call her back, holding his camera, though he never knew why.

He found her twirling silently in the rain, her cape, instead of being waterlogged and heavy with rain water, billowed behind her, mirroring her graceful movements whilst being blown helter-skelter in the wind.

Ironically, all the flowers in her garden had a washed-out look except for the violets, which, being one of the smallest flowers in her garden, seemed to bloom their hardest and their most beautiful during this gloomy rain. They seemed to tower above the other plants in their own way, blowing this way and that in the howling gale but never snapped or broke.

Her short, straight, violet-coloured strands of hair whipped wildly around her, enhancing her sharp yet delicate features of her pale face, matching the dark, alluring hue of the purple flowers surrounding her. Her eyes, a similar violet-purple, gleamed with rare happiness, putting the vibrant colour of the flowers to shame.

He summed it up with one word:

Beautiful.

Anyone else who never knew her would think she was just crazy.

But, after all, he was the one who met her, (or was it the other way round?) before they joined the titans.

He could say that he knew her the best out of the others.

_Saying goodbye…_

_Is never an easy thing,_

_But you never said…_

_That you'd stay forever_

_So if you must go, _

_Darling…I'll set you free,_

_But I know in time…_

_We'll be together…_

_Love will lead you back…_

_Someday, I just know that,_

_Love will lead you back to my arms…_

_Where you belong,_

_I'm sure…_

_Sure as stars are shining, _

_One day you will find me again…_

_It won't be long…_

_One of these days, oh…_

_Love will lead you, back…_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"One large, double-decker, meat-a-licious cheese and barbeque sauce burger, coming right up!"

"Dude! You know I'm a vegan, right! And, tofu rules!"

"Uhh…I'll just have to agree with Cy on that one. Sorry, BB."

Beast Boy pouted stupidly, his green lip sticking out in a 'cute' puppy dog pout.

"You're just jealous 'cos tofu is healthful and your fatty, greasy, meaty burger is not!"

"Hey, BB? When did you ever learn to speak such big, long words?" Cyborg grinned, making sure to emphasize on the big and long.

The changeling puffed out his chest.

"I-

He stopped short when he realized what Cy had actually said.

"Hey!"

"And, why would I be jealous of a cold, soft, tasteless lump of tofu when I've got my delicious, scrumptious, delightful, heavenly-tasting burger?"

"Well, might the fact that I've been most of these animals bother you?"

"Hmm…" Cyborg paused, mock thinking about it. "Nope."

Hearing the commotion, Starfire smiled.

Maybe they had all forgotten what day today was.

"No way!"

"Yes way."

"Star? Would you prefer the tofu or my special, homemade, yummy-tastic meat burger?"

"Umm…meat burger."

"Aw, c'mon!"

Robin rolled his eyes at the immature pair, asking in a cool tone.

"Have you _forgotten _what day it is today?"

An uncomfortable silence settled uneasily in the room. Star glared at Robin, making him wince and turn red.

"Uh…forget I said that."

"Don't worry dude, I'm okay with that."

"…Yeah." Cyborg managed to ease the tension in the room with a robotic half smile.

They were a team... how could they possibly forget? Lord knows, losing Raven was like losing a part of the family. They were best friends, sharing secrets with one another.

Maybe…even more?

**xxxxxxxxxx**

The day was relatively quiet.

Not a beep from the security system, not one jailbreak, no robberies.

The villains seemed to understand the significance of today.

Even Slade hadn't shown up since that day.

Not even a finger.

"Whose turn is it to go grocery shopping again?"

"Mine," piped Beast Boy who had just entered the room. He grimaced. "I shouldn't have said that."

"Well, too bad, BB. Here's the shopping list." Cyborg handed him a roll of paper. "Off you go to the mall of shopping!" he sang in a sing-song voice.

"Yeah, yeah, take it all out on the little green guy," he mumbled good-naturedly.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

He sighed, bringing the already-loaded shopping cart to a halt.

"Okay, um…what's after the eggs…"

He mentally crossed out what he had already taken, somewhat lazily, from the various shelves around him.

"A big box of mustard." He said with a tinge of laughter. _Definitely Star's doing, he mused._

"Hmm…urgh, meat for Cy."

He shook his head. Oh, the things he did for friends…He gave a little half smile as he made his way to the meat section, shaking his head in disgust.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

As he neared Titans Tower in Cy's T-Car, he thought he saw something flash behind him.

He narrowed his eyes. _Must have been a trick of the light, he concluded._

He could have sworn the flash was of a familiar dark blue of Raven's leotard ad cloak.

_Just a trick of the light._

He shook his head and smiled goofily.

_I've gone insane._

He pulled into the garage noiselessly, efficiently as no-one thought he ever could, and whistled a meaningless tune as he unloaded the plastic bags of groceries from the boot of the car.

No, he definitely wasn't the tiny, puny, little 'grass stain' that he was originally when he first joined the titans.

As opposed to what everyone had thought, Beast Boy actually had muscles hidden behind the black-and-purple- whirl of his tight spandex suit.

It just took years to develop them.

He had definitely grown taller, surprising everyone including himself with his sudden growth spurt. Instead of being tall and lanky, his muscles were toned, hard and firm, probably paying off from the training that Robin was obsessed with.

Everyone but him had noticed.

He frowned, head whipping backwards as he noted another flash of the same midnight blue behind him.

This was getting to be frustrating.

Squinting outside, he noticed that it was raining, just like that time when he snapped that picture of her.

He somehow had an uncontrollable urge to go to her special place, her garden.

_It's not like anything could happen. Right?_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

He stared round at the flowers, bending in the breeze the rain had whipped up. Star had been tending to her garden since she had left, taking care of it with the same ferocity Raven possessed.

But it wasn't quite the same.

Star had added her own plants of her choice to her gardens, making it…somewhat un-Raven like.

Somehow, though, the violets seemed to beam at him today, much like that time when the picture was taken. They seemed to drown the other, more vibrantly coloured flowers in their relaxing hue of a deep purple. They smiled at him, beckoning, whispering…almost as if they were telling him…

_Today's different._

He couldn't help but agree. Something felt…different in the wind today.

He hoped it was something good.

He frowned. Why were the violets encased in black?

_Black…_

Something in his mind clicked.

No…

He didn't want to know…

_Could it be?_

He considered the possibility that…

It _could…_

He turned around, slowly, slowly.

"Rae?" He half whispered.

She was thin. Bruises ran up her arms and legs, with scars here and there.

He face was as pale as ever. Her chakra stone glinted, mouth curved upward in a small smile.

But most of all, he noticed the light glinting off an amethyst stone, set into a gold ring on her right third finger.

They melted together in a silent embrace. No words needed to be said.

"What took you so long?" He mumbled, burying his head into her shoulder.

She gave a short, cynical laugh, but the smile never left her face.

"Stuff." She replied in her usual, monotonous voice.

He felt deliriously giddy, happy with an unknown relief. He never felt this happy before, not even when riding his moped. This feeling…was new.

He wasn't sure whether she remembered what they had said when she decided to leave.

"_Do you trust me?"_

"_Of course I do, Rae…" He whispered. " I love you…"_

"_Then BB, if you love me…"_

"_Let me go…" _

"_Raven…" _

_Beast Boy gathered her into a hug. No words…._

_No words…_

"_BB…I love you too…"_

He wasn't sure of anything anymore. Was there even a 'we' to start with? A possibility of more-than-just-friends? Was there…

More?

He wanted to know.

But he definitely was going to give her some time first. She needed it.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Raven leaned heavily onto Beast Boy, blinked, and sighed.

"Do you mind? I'm a bit tired."

He shook his head in a gesture she took as a 'no'.

His warmth once again flooded her body, making her skin, bruised and cut as it was, tingle with an emotion she wasn't sure of. What was it? She breathed in sharply, inhaling the musky smell of his cologne, spicy and intoxicating.

_He wears cologne?_

_Mmmm…_

Whatever it was, he smelt good. She felt his arms snake around her petite waist, supporting her as she stumbled down the steps, half aware of her surroundings.

The two of them blinked in the bright light that flickered in their eyes as they entered the Titan's living room.

Robin and Star noticed them first.

"Why hello friend-

The glass of mustard she was holding dropped to the floor. Starbolts shot out of her eyes, rocketing off the tower walls, nearly blasting Raven out of the tower and destroying Robin's outrageous hairstyle. Her eyes widened in shock and disbelief.

Robin just shook his head, unbelieving, his interesting chat with Star forgotten.

"What…who…how…Raven?"

He looked as though his tongue had forgotten how to coordinate its movements with his lips and mouth, producing a number of unknown sounds as his mouth opened and closed like a goldfish.

"Booyah! I just beat BB's score on the game station, who's the man? I'm the man!"

Cyborg stopped short as he saw the two figures by the steps. He rubbed his eyes, both robotic and real, and fell back with a loud 'thud' to the floor.

"Dude…if you're haunting me for beating you…I'm sorry!." His voice floated up weakly from the floor.

"Eheh…erm…I guess this means we made a good entrance?"

Starfire's tiny 'eep!' was Beast Boy's only reply.

"Uh…"

**A/N: How do you like it so far? Tell me, please:) A million thanks, hugs, kisses, chocolates, sweeties and cookies to everyone who reviewed, especially my best friend, Fen! **

**L(ots) O(f) L(ove),**

**Lilyandjamesrox.**


	3. Chapter 3

**--Chapter 3--**

The silence was so quiet, Beast Boy was sure he heard crickets chirping.

"Uhh…somebody speak, please?" He offered helpfully, or as helpfully as he could, for that matter.

The other Titans were slack-jawed, Starfire's eyes still glowing, Robin still gaping, and Cyborg still on the floor.

And then, as one, three voices, boomed-

"RAVEN!"

They leaped up and tackled her to the ground.

And, as she was clinging to Beast Boy-

He went down with her.

An exited babble of voices started, making it hard to distinguish what anyone was saying.

"Friend Raven! It has been so long-

"Raven? What happened to you!"

"We thought you were a goner, man!"

"-why are you covered in-

"Raven! Who did that to you!"

"You better get cleaned up!"

"-so many bruises?"

All she could do was to wince, smile and say, in her stony voice,

"You…are…touching…me…can't…breathe…"

Satisfied with their rough welcome, Star, Robin and Cyborg picked themselves up from the floor, leaving Beast Boy and Raven lying down, in a very…intimate position.

They looked as if they were tied up together as a birthday present; their legs were entwined together, with her body resting on top. His hands had somehow, in the fall encircled her waist yet again, and her hands were entangled in his short, green hair. Their faces were just mere inches apart. She could feel his breath coming out slowly on her face.

She couldn't help it. Her face turned a vibrant shade of pink and Beast Boy too turned and handsome, deep red, although he was green, and they turned away from each other, too shy to even move.

Cyborg and Robin, seeing their…compromising position, were consumed in silent laughter, rolling on the floor, each clutching a stitch in their side.

"Honestly, man…which one is redder? BB or Rae?" Cyborg whispered to Robin, in between gasps of laughter.

Robin gestured wildly to the tomato-faced pair on the floor.

"See…for…yourself!" He whispered back to Cyborg, just as choked up.

Star scrunched up her nose in thought, wondering why the boys were laughing at Raven and Beast Boy.

"What is so funny?"

Her innocent question just sent both the boys into more laughter.

"Never…you…mind…Star…" Cyborg managed to gasp out.

Robin replied with a few unrecognizable sounds and snorted as he cried tears of mirth.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Uhh…shouldn't we untangle ourselves now?" Beast Boy ventured, face still a shade of deep red.

Raven blushed harder, if possible, and answered him in her deadpan tone.

"Good idea."

They de-tangled themselves and scooted away from each other in embarrassment. Raven rolled her eyes at the pair still howling with laughter on the tower floor.

"Idiotic dimwits."

"C'mon guys, lets go get some dinner." Beast Boy made his way to the kitchen, thinking of what to cook with his all-famous tofu tonight.

Star floated happily behind him, followed by Raven, leaving the two 'idiotic dimwits' alone on the floor.

Cyborg and Robin finally noticed that it was dinner time.

"Hey! Wait up!" Cyborg sprung up from his position.

"Wait for us!" Robin followed suit.

"Race you to the kitchen, man."

"You're on."

"Ready…steady…go!"

"Last one there is a baboon's butt!"

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Dinner was a loud occasion, with the Titans arguing, chatting, and joking over a good, hearty meal just like the old times, before Raven left. She was always a part of everything they did, even though she usually never joined in.

Everything was almost back to normal.

Almost.

The titans were lounging in the living room, feeling lazy after a big dinner, chatting, laughing…yes, it was almost like old times again.

They all wanted to ask her the simple questions that meant so much.

Where had she been…what had she been doing?

The questions were just begging to be asked, hanging from the tip of everyone's tongue. Somebody was bound to crack…

They had a bad feeling that all that had happened to her wasn't exactly the best of things. The scars and the bruises didn't paint the prettiest picture, either.

Somebody…was bound to crack. Sooner or later.

Anyone would have expected Star to say something about it by now, but she knew better than to speak out, having switched bodies with her once. Emerald-green eyes flashed faintly in frustration as her mouth twitched in an almost-scowl, wanting so dreadfully to ask those seemingly harmless questions. But she didn't. She couldn't.

Robin could feel the tension surrounding those questions. He was the leader, after all. He too was frowning in frustration, biting his lip ever so often and stealing glances at her, trying to place where he had seen similar-looking scars, furrowing his brow at the angry-looking bruises running up and down her body. Oh, how he wanted to ask…

Cyborg was being the older brother. And as older brother, he did exactly what older brothers usually did.

He held his tongue, as much as he wanted to know. As older brother, he had felt the wrath of his 'younger sis' more than once, and as he had some brainpower, surprisingly, he could guess the consequences of asking Rae those little questions.

So, obviously, it was Beast Boy that was the first to crack. Either he was stupid, he wanted to die, or…

Maybe he knew that she wouldn't blow up in anger. Maybe he knew that she trusted him with her life and beyond that. Maybe he knew her the best of all and vice versa, no matter how many times she got pissed at him.

"Hey…Rae?"

"Yes, Beast Boy?"

She knew what he was going to ask, anyway. She knew what they all wanted to ask…she wasn't an empath for nothing.

No words… 

Beast Boy knew that _she _knew what he was going to ask.

_No words._

He didn't need to ask.

No words… 

She knew, and she would answer. Raven was never one to back away.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Raven ducked, one of Slade's minions just narrowly missing her.   
"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" 

Black light consumed the robot fighting her in a giant ball. 

_It exploded, shards of the now broken-up robot flying everywhere, hitting others. But they continued advancing up to her…_

_Tired…_

_So very tired…_

_She had been fighting for what had seemed like eternity. Wave after wave of Slade's robotic helpers emerged out of nowhere, surrounding her, forcing her to fight, cutting off any escape routes. _

_She should have known it was a trick, that distress call by a supposed 'citizen'. _

_Copies of Slade had appeared as she got there, distracting her, leading her into an old warehouse. _

_She should have known…_

_There was no-one to save her back if she couldn't make it out of this one. _

_She growled in frustration, sweat furrowing her brow. Thin lines of dark-red blood trickled down her face and arms, her leotard stained with splotches of blood-like liquid, hers or the robots', she couldn't tell. _

_Slade was never one to do this sort of thing without a reason. It wasn't the fight that was making her so worked up. She was racking her brains for anything, a clue of what Slade could want from her. She would never join him, and he sure as hell knew that, so that was off the list. Mind-control? Nah. That wasn't his style. _

_What could it be…_

_She was tiring, and she knew that. If Slade did have a reason for all this, she needed to find out what it was now. _

_The robots suddenly backed away from her and huddled together. She had a bad feeling…_

_A huge explosion basted her off her feet and took her by surprise. She didn't like where this was going already._

_Her cape shielded her from most of the debris, and she gingerly picked herself up from the ground, panting hard. Her feeling was correct in sensing that the robots were just walking and fighting time-bombs._

_Slade had perfect timing. _

_She coughed and squinted at the lone figure, barely visible against the smoke clouding the area all around her. Thank god this wasn't anywhere near civilization. Better her than anyone else. Everyone else was innocent. She, on the other hand…was not._

"_What do you want?" Her voice was a little croaky, but still, thankfully as monotonous as ever. If she was scared…she couldn't show it. _

"_Why, hello, Raven. Long time no see."_

"_Cut the long introduction, Slade. What do you want?" She sounded braver than she felt._

_Suddenly, everything clicked in her head. The pieces fit perfectly. The only reason…but surely…he wasn't that desperate…_

_He wanted Trigon._

_She couldn't imagine the amount of destruction he could do with Trigon in his power. Trigon wouldn't be in his power for long, anyway. He was too strong for even Slade to control. That would be even worse than Slade multiplying by a billion. _

_As cliché as it sounded, if that happened, it would be the end of the world. _

_But just using her for Trigon's 'rebirth' wasn't Slade's style, either. He did know the consequences of 'using powerful Demons to take over the world.' He did know that Trigon was more powerful than him. No, Slade was going to use some other way, and she wanted to know what. _

_Either that or she would have to find out._

_She knew that he could sense that she had found out his plan. Slade wasn't the worst villain the titans had fought for nothing…_

"_I won't let you." _

"_Well, m'dear, who's to stop me?"_

"_Myself. Azarath Metrion Zinthos!"_

_Slade merely flicked a hand and the heavy plank of wood she had hurled at him with her magic fell with a crash to the ground. He had grown stronger…_

"_Why don't you just give up like a good little Raven will?" _

"_Because I'm not. Hyaaa!"_

_Black magic shot out from her hands towards Slade. _

_In a fluid movement, he twisted out of the way, showing no signs of tiring. Raven, on the other hand, was panting, every joint in her body aching badly..._

"_Slade. I'm going to ask you nicely for one very, last time. What. Do. You. Want?"_

_She gritted her teeth in anger. Must control emotions…_

_Slade laughed evilly, his laugh a cool, mechanical tone. _

"_Would you believe it if I said 'You'?" _

_She growled. She didn't have time for this…_

"_No. Hy-aaa!"_

_Black magic shot towards him once again, and again he deftly twisted away from the blast. _

"_You're making me angry, Rae-Rae." He taunted, sneering at her, his face twisted in an unreadable expression. _

_She was so tired…_

_She couldn't keep this up much longer._

"_Azarath Metrion Zinthos!"_

_Duck…_

"_Hy-aaa!"_

_Twist away…_

_Plank after plank, stone after stone she hurled at him. He never seemed to show the slightest evidence of fatigue. _

_There was no-one left to save her if she didn't get out of this one._

_Slade was getting angry, she sensed. She tensed up, waiting for his first move._

"_You're an angry little Raven, are you?"_

_Must…keep…control…_

"_As much as your pathetic excuses of your friends-_

_She lost it…_

_Raven flew at him, trembling in indescribable rage._

"_Don't you dare insult my friends!"_

_She drew back her fist to deliver a punch to his metallic face. _

_Slade just smirked. This was what he was waiting for. _

_As she punched, he caught her pale wrist and twisted it violently, grinning in satisfaction at the resounding 'snap' that was heard besides her gasp of pain. He moved his hand _

_further up her arm…_

_And pulled._

_Hard._

_Breaking her wrist wasn't enough…_

_He dislocated her shoulder._

_If the pain she felt when he twisted her wrist was unbearable, what she felt now was pure agony. _

_She shook, this time in rage as well as in pain. _

_She shifted her weight and threw her body into a powerful roundhouse kick, her useless right arm hanging limply by her side._

_As Slade was distracted, she hurled a big stone at him._

_But it wasn't over yet. _

"_Sticks and stones won't hurt me, little Raven." He sneered at her._

_Tired…_

_So tired…_

_She panted hard, steadying herself for an uppercut to the jaw. Or so she hoped…_

_Punch after punch and kick after kick she rained on him, darting away and then coming back, dodging, twisting, turning…_

_As powerful as she was, he didn't seem to feel a thing. _

_Slade's robotic eye glowed an eerie red. _

"_Now you've really made me angry, little Raven." _

_He fought with her, blocking her smooth punches with some of his own, easily dodging her slowly weakening kicks. _

_He scratched her, knowing his metal claws would do lots of damage to her delicate skin, ripping it open._

_So tired…_

_But still she fought._

_The show will go on…_

_Tired…_

_She was now covered in blood. Any normal person in her position would have long fainted from the blood loss. _

_But she was no normal person._

_She would go down fighting…_

_Or not at all._

_She felt her knees sink slowly to the floor, her head now dizzy due to the blood loss._

_But she still fought…_

_For Cyborg…_

_For Star…_

_For Robin…_

_For truth…_

_For justice…_

_For herself…_

_For…_

_Beast Boy._

_They gave her the strength she needed._

_She wasn't giving up…_

_Slade could sense it._

_He wasn't going to kill her anyway, only weaken her. _

_It seemed that he had no other choice but to sedate her for the time being, seeing that she would not surrender. _

_As she punched him, he caught her wrist once again, pulling her towards him._

_Raven braced herself…_

_And felt the prick of a needle on her skin._

"_Well, little Raven, it's time for a nap!"_

_Black…_

_So comfortable…_

_So inviting…_

_No…_

_She struggled to stand, but sank to her knees once again. _

_So tired…_

_Must…not…close…eyes…_

_She lost._

_Black…_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_She groaned. Pain…her arm…head…_

_Where…was she?_

_Blood…_

_Memories came rushing back to her head, making it pound even more._

_She forced open her eyes, squinting at the light filtering through the window of the…cabin?_

_Where…was she?_

_She remembered…Slade…fighting…_

_As she gradually slipped back into consciousness, she became aware that…_

_She wasn't wearing anything._

_Her cape was the only garment of clothing attached to her, covering her for the most part._

_She winced as she sat bolt upright, more memories rushing back…_

_Pain still racked through her body and up her useless arm even though her healing charms had done their work._

_Her body was caked in blood._

_Last night was a blur of half-conscious memories…_

_Slipping in and out of consciousness, she remembered few…_

…_The sound of cloth being ripped away from a person…_

…_A dark figure standing above her…_

…_A growl of pleasure…_

…_pain…_

_She gasped in sudden realization._

_No…_

_She needed to make sure. _

_She reached inside her, searching…_

_She found the answer._

_Slade raped her._

_She cried out in shock and pure horror._

_And that's when she realized he left her a parting present._

_A gold ring set with a glowing amethyst stone rested on her finger._

**A/N: Sorry this chappie took longer than the others…but hey, I was taking only a very, very, very, short break! Anyway, please don't be mad at me for making Slade…well…even I'm disgusted, but my plot needs to be evil sometimes, you know. Everything ever possible on this earth is going to happen to Raven…this is a Raven-centered story, after all. And…her flashback is not over yet! BB/Rae fluff abounds in the next chapter…Watch out for it! Oh, and…I'm going to China/Bangkok for eleven days, so...my update is not going to be quick…Sorry my dear readers…and…THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS!**

**This is Alex-S, (lilyandjamesrox)**

**Signing out.**


	4. Chapter 4

**--Chapter 4--**

Raven's usual monotonous voice shook. Tears pricked and stung the back of her eyes.

She was doing all in her power to stop herself from crying.

It was so hard to talk about this.

She had never wanted to bring this up in the first place…

But as she said to Beast Boy once,

The truth is the truth as much as you didn't want to accept it.

She couldn't stand the way her friends were looking at her, their eyes blazing with disgust, anger, and sympathy.

Even Star's emerald orbs were glowing brightly, knowing with furious concern that Slade had done something bad to her friend.

Robin and Cy were currently in a very bad state of shock, eyes trailing downcast.

But all in all, Beast Boy was the one who was the most affected.

He trembled in rage, only just managing to suppress an angry growl from his throat. The ever-familiar monster in his chest roared and scratched with unimaginable fury, hissing and spitting at the mental image of Raven, broken, innocence lost. He had never been this angry before. Then again, everything he had felt since Raven had come back was…new.

None of them had seen her express her emotions this much. She had never been reduced to almost-tears before, exercising an enormous amount of control over her emotions. This was serious.

She was like a lonely, little girl who had just woke up from a horrifying nightmare….

Only to find that the nightmare was real.

"Hey, Rae…you don't need to continue if you don't want to…"

"No." She stated firmly, voice still shaking. "I have to tell it out." Her eyes set, hard. Raven Roth never was one to give up in the middle of the road.

xxxxxxxxxx

_An older-looking Raven glared at the robot pacing the shiny, cold, floor._

_Hmph. Easy._

_Black light silently formed in her hands. She hurled it, still quiet as a mouse, at the unsuspecting robot._

_Score._

_She slowed the robot as it fell to the floor, preventing any noise. _

_She didn't want any detection. _

_Slade's lair was the same as it looked before._

_She had unplugged all the security cameras, and knocked out a few guards along the way. _

_But she wouldn't be surprised if Slade knew she was there already._

_She glanced tentatively at the gold-and-purple ring on her right third finger and scowled. _

_She hadn't figured out the mystery of the ring Slade had left with her. It wouldn't come off her finger, and all the magic in the world would never be enough to break it. _

_What did it do?_

_As she pondered, she lost some of her concentration. A guard tackled her to the floor, hitting her bruises. She winced in pain as it shot up her body. _

_She hadn't fully healed yet. She didn't even get medical attention from the last encounter._

_She struggled against the guard's tight hold, black light encasing her body. Concentrate…_

_The guard lost his grip on her and flew into the wall with a loud slam, still glowing black _

_with her powers. So much for the silent approach._

_Since Slade had given her the ring, she had been able to control her emotions much better than before. In fact, she mused, she hadn't lost control since that day. _

_Why would Slade, of all people, give her something that increased her power? It didn't make any sense to her._

_She wanted answers._

_And she sure as hell was going to get them. _

_Once again, Slade had perfect timing. _

_Robots filed into the room, and at the back of them was…_

"_Slade." Raven acknowledged with a cool tone._

"_Little Raven." He nodded at her. _

_She hissed in anger, her eyes slowly turning red. Somehow though, she felt that she didn't need to suppress rage. It was almost as if…she was in control of rage._

"_I am not your little Raven."_

"_Why yes you are, little Raven."_

_She lowered her hood, eyes on fire._

"_Slade. I want answers."_

"_I know you do, little Raven. How's about a little spar first, just you and me?" Slade winked his robotic eye suggestively. _

_He made her almost puke on the floor. Her pride was still wounded from the last fight. _

_Raven Roth would not be outdone. She would get her revenge._

"_Let's make a deal…" She narrowed her eyes, knowing the consequences if she lost. She was playing with fire anyway, making a deal with Slade. "…Slade. If I win, I get answers."_

_Slade looked interested at the prospect. _

"_And if you lose?" he mocked her. _

_She gritted her teeth._

"_You get me."_

_Slade smirked, eyes glowing with lust, and held out a hand to shake._

"_It's a deal." _

_The robots that accompanied him during his 'grand entrance' vanished away._

_Raven merely used her powers to conjure up a hand, made entirely of black fire, and shook his outstretched hand._

_Her eyes were set._

_It was now or never._

xxxxxxxxxx

_She dodged his punches and kicks with ease. She had been training hard. _

_But so had he. _

_She had given him some punches of her own, having learned his fighting style from the last time they had met_

_They were equally matched, like how Robin was equally matched with him. It just seemed that she had the upper hand, as she had magic on her side. _

_She summoned stones to batter against the metal casing of his body as she fought him, distracting him, knowing that with each metallic 'clang' she heard that he had weakened just a little. _

_Just a little, but enough._

_Slowly, but surely, Slade tired. She, too, was panting hard, adrenaline coursing through her veins. But Slade was weakening…she could sense it. _

_They continued to spar, throwing insults back and forth at each other._

_Raven was winning._

_She watched with a smirk on her face as he sank to the floor, as she did last time. _

"_Looks like I won, Slade." She spat out the last word bitterly._

_She approached him. Stupid move._

_He launched forward and flipped her over, putting her in a precarious position, ready to strike her._

"_Says who?"_

_She glared at him, and struggled to get out of his hold. Once again, she concentrated hard. _

_He was much harder to dislodge than the guard. _

_She flung him to the wall and wiped her brow. She was riddled with scratches, but she was fine. _

"_Says me."_

_Her eyes danced in victory, but her face still held a smirk._

"_Now. Answers."_

_Slade got up, admitting defeat with a signal. _

_He smirked._

"_Well, little Raven. Much more feisty than before. I like the spicy ones."_

_He licked his lips, narrowing his eyes at her. _

_She growled. _

"_Answers."_

"_Why, little Raven, how can I tell you the answers if you didn't ask me a question?"_

"_The ring. What does it do?" she retorted, simply._

"_Ah, the ring. I thought you would be happy with my little present."_

"_Cut the crap, Slade."_

"_Patience is a virtue, my little Raven."_

"_Patience is a waste of time! And, I'm not your little Raven!" _

"_The ring, my little Raven, changes your emotions to fake ones. By doing so, you will be able to express them without losing control." He smirked. "Don't you like that?"_

_She hesitated in shock. The ring helped her control her emotions? So that's why she could use her powers to the full extent. _

_But…why? Why would Slade want to replace her emotions with fake ones and by dong so, let her have more power?_

"_Why?"_

"_That, my little Raven, is one question I cannot answer." He sneered at her. "Yet."_

_She needed to think. Questions raced about crazily in her head. Time for her to meditate…did she even need to, as she had control over her emotions?_

_Without thinking, she made a portal and melted through the floor, heading for her favourite meditation spot._

_Slade just chuckled eerily. _

"_Soon, my little Raven…"_

"_Soon, you will know."_

xxxxxxxxxx

Raven flicked out a pale wrist, showing the ring that was adorned her right hand.

The amethyst caught the light, and shone in all its brilliance. The gold framed it well, and along the band were the Azar symbols of lock and key.

She smirked bitterly, and composed herself.

"I know I'm supposed to be happy that I have control over my emotions…but I'm not. Slade's planning something, and I still don't know what."

The others still blinked at her in shock.

Cyborg broke the uncomfortable silence.

"When I find Slade," He started, narrowing his eyes in anger. "I'm going to crush every bone I can ever find his whole, perverted, body."

He stalked off, and called to Robin.

"Yo, Boy Wonder, you better get a lead on him fast, 'cause when you do, we are going to kick some serious butt."

"Slade's going down." Was all Robin could manage, frowning, before walking away to his room with Star in tow.

Beast Boy stayed behind.

Raven was shaking badly. He could see that she was forcing herself not to cry...

"Rae?"

She glanced at him, oddly comforted by his presence in the room, without everyone else.

"Yes, Beast Boy?"

"Hey, I know this sounds stupid, but…"

"Did you know that butterflies and cry?"

Raven looked blankly at him. What did butterflies or have to do with her or her situation, in that case?

He scooted closer, and put a comforting arm around her.

"I guess you've never seen one cry, right Rae?"

She nodded numbly. When ever did butterflies cry? How did he know when a butterfly cried? Was it telepathy or something?

"Well…" He started, obviously hesitant to speak. "Why don't you think they cry? Is it because you've never seen their tears?" He looked up at her.

She nodded once again, wondering when Beast Boy had decided to go all psychological on her.

"Well…"He stared at her, shyly.

"You…don't need tears to cry, Rae. You don't need to let out anything at all. Just…see it as crying without…crying. And…well…"

His face dropped.

"My mum said, when she was…alive…that when you've got no tears to cry…"

He tilted Raven's chin up to face him, smiling awkwardly.

"Lean on someone's shoulder…"

He gently placed her head on her shoulder and slowly, hesitantly, wrapped his arms around her.

"And cry…butterfly tears…"

She blinked. Butterfly tears…butterfly…

They sounded…inviting…the emancipation of her emotions…through butterfly tears…

And, she didn't need to worry about her emotions anymore, anyway.

_Spread your wings and prepare to fly,_

_For you have become…a butterfly…_

_Oh, fly abandonedly to the sun…_

_And, if you should return to me…_

_We truly were meant to be…_

_So, spread your wings and fly…_

_Butterfly…_

Butterfly…to her, the word meant…freedom.

Freedom…to fly…

And freedom…to cry.

She felt him shift his position to make her more comfortable.

She buried her head into his shoulder, took a deep breath, and-

Cried butterfly tears…

Every shred of emotion she had pent up in her body over the last few years were let out in a whirlwind of unseen tears…

Every pain she had felt convulsed her body, racking it up in dry sobs…

Every heartache she had to go through made her shake as she curled up on the couch next to the green shapeshifter.

And he sat on the couch, holding her close as she cried…with no tears.

She felt every ounce of pain flow through her body…

And melt away in her tears…

Her butterfly tears.

xxxxxxxxxx

Thunder boomed outside Titan's tower as the rain beat against the windows. Lightning flashed, illuminating the world outside for a second with a streak of light.

Beast Boy woke up with a start. _Why am I sleeping on the couch?_

_Why is someone clinging to me like a bolster?_

_Clinging to me!_

Raven had cried herself to sleep on his shoulder and he, too had slept while waiting for her to finish crying.

He blushed faintly.

His eyes traveled up to her face. As she slept, her chest rose up and down slowly.

He couldn't help but smile. She looked so peaceful.

His arms were still wrapped around her. He thought it best to wake her up now before anyone saw them like this. If Cy or Robin saw them, the amount of teasing that they would receive would equal the amount of times they had kicked bad guy butt and sent them to jail.

"Rae!" He whispered, shaking her shoulders gently.

"Huh…what? Where…am…I? Five more minutes…" She sleepily mumbled.

He nearly laughed out loud.

"Raven." He whispered again, just a little louder.

She hit her head against the cushion and woke up instantly.

"Ouch! Hey…where am I?" She sat up, rubbing her head.

He grinned at her as she blinked sleepily.

"You fell asleep on the couch."

She nodded in response.

"So…I think we better get back to our rooms, 'cause if Cy saw us he wouldn't let us live it down."

She blushed lightly after noticing the position they were in. His arms still encircled her waist and she got a full view of his toned body from where she was…

_Wait a minute…where did that come from?_

Funnily…she felt very comforted by the position they were in.

She eased herself away from him as he detangled himself from her and gave him a little smile as they got up from the couch.

"Thanks, Beast Boy."

"Hey, no prob." He grinned back at her, sincerely.

"What's the comic-relief guy in the Titan's family for?"

Her smile grew just a tiny bit wider…

"Goodnight, Beast Boy."

"Night, Rae. Sweet dreams!"

She pulled her hood back up and made her way to her room, traces of a blush still playing on her cheeks.

Sweet dreams, indeed.

xxxxxxxxxx

She pulled off her boots and stumbled to her bed, half asleep.

She was too tired to even strip off her cape before she fell on her bed and closed her eyes…

She forced her eyes to open once again, noticing something different about her cloak.

Was it just her, or did the cloak…

_Lighten?_

She sighed, sleep taking over her…

_Ah, there's plenty of time to think about that in the morning._

**A/N: If this seems rushed, or anything…it's because I'm giving you guys a chappie before I'm off to China. I took two days to do this, you know? grins So…the next chapter will be a little late. Hope you guys like it...cause this chap has lots of BB/Rae fluff! Thank you to all my reviewers…especially…Silence B! You are my inspiration…**

**(L)ots (O)f (L)ove, (and chocolates, kisses, hugs, and sweeties!)**

**Lilyandjamesrox.**


	5. Chapter 5

**--Chapter 5—**

It was a lazy afternoon, the kind where you just wanted to sit back and stare at the TV like zombies all day. Even Raven, surprisingly, was in no mood to make her usual sarcastic comments.

Silence reigned throughout Titan's Tower, other than the occasional blasts and explosions from the game station, followed by Cyborg's trademark 'Booyah!' and Beast Boy's 'Aww, man!'

Raven sat, curled up on the couch behind the two boys, buried in her thick romance novel. (Of course, the cover was wrapped in a horror-novel book cover; she had a reputation to keep.)

Or at least, that was what she tried to do.

The loud blasts and groans were enough to drive her crazy, a vein pulsing in her forehead as she looked up to glare at the TV screen and the objects of her annoyance.

Somehow though, she found that she was incapable of glaring at Beast Boy for very long.

Every time she tried to, she would remember something about him that made her want to smile to herself.

The way he made light out of every situation…

The way he tried to make her laugh…

The way he thought her how to cry butterfly tears…

And the glare turned into a small, quick, smile underneath the blanket of her hood.

_Hey-where did all of that come from! She had no emotion, remember?_

Okay, maybe she didn't need to control her emotions anymore, but-

_Uhh…I'm going all mushy on myself._

She blushed and averted her gaze, coincidentally to the flashing TV screen.

She fumed silently, watching half-heartedly as the characters leaped and ducked with amazing agility. One turned a double back flip and twisted somewhat impossibly to behind himself to fire a shot at the other, hitting the character in the process.

She blinked, wide eyed, at the precision-timed combos that she was sure even Robin could not do.

_Wow._

If she could do that, she would be _the _most amazing Titan of all.

Her eyes and brain were beggingher to follow the characters on the screen.

She stubbornly refused, purposely shifting her gaze to a random spot on the wall, lips pursued in frustration.

But…

She really, really, _really _couldn't help glancing at the oh-so-inviting television screen ever so often…

And the glance turned into a look…

And the look turned into a minute…

And, well, one thing led to another.

She was getting engrossed…

_Uh-oh…_

_This cannot be good._

xxxxxxxxxx

Raven Roth getting absorbed in a video game was something that the Titans were yet to see.

However, Raven Roth was currently sitting on the comfy couch, pretending to read her now uninteresting book, and mentally shouting out the instructions to the two players who were also concentrating on the game.

Of course, Raven Roth had never played one of these 'idiotic' games before.

But of course, she had observed the boys and even Star play these games before, and she had long ago memorized the buttons and stuff on the controller. She just never found any use for that kind of information before.

It was just a matter of time before she knew how to use those simple-looking buttons.

Raven Roth was an exceptionally fast learner.

It wasn't very long before she could play as well as anybody.

She knew Raven Roth didn't do fun…

But hey, she was free of her emotions, right?

So, she could be a little, tiny, bit freer with her emotions, right?

She took a little while convincing herself that she was indeed right and soon focused back to the game.

Beast Boy's character was getting pretty beat up, as he always did.

Cyborg smirked at him, making his character power up for the final move that would wipe out Beast Boy's character.

Raven felt like grabbing the controller out of his hands, still in her game world. Didn't he, the 'master of all video games', know the simple combination move that would turn the tables against Cyborg and give him a victory, for once?

_R2 and L2 continuously then press X…_

She grit her teeth and bit her tongue, hands twitching dreadfully. Must…abstain…from…ripping…controller…from…his…hands…

_R2, L2 continuously then press X!_

She watched, fidgeting, as he backed his pitiful character into a corner and whimpered pathetically.

She couldn't keep quiet anymore…

The words she had restrained herself from saying burst out of her mouth.

"Beast Boy! R2 and L2 continuously then press X!"

Again, this cannot be good…

The green changeling glanced at her in confusion. Raven, Raven Roth, telling him what to do in a video game?

He turned his head back to the screen.

Oh well. Better than nothing.

R2…L2…R2…L2…X! There!

Here goes…

He watched in complete amazement as his character did a move that knocked out Cy's, mouth slack-jawed.

Cyborg was no better off, mouth hanging open in shock and blinking dazedly at the TV screen that was currently flashing the words 'GAME OVER: PLAYER 2 WINS!" over and over again.

For a long, long moment, they gaped at the TV screen. Then-

"R-r-rae?"

She immediately pretended to be reading, pulling her hood up to cover her blushing face.

She wondered vaguely where Star and Robin was, trying to keep her mind of her slip of the tongue and to stop the blush on her face, which she was completely aware of.

Oh, yeah. Now she remembered.

Star, being Star, had asked the Boy Wonder to accompany her to the mall of shopping, as Raven had not wanted to go earlier.

Not surprisingly, the Boy Wonder instantly agreed, blushing almost as bad as she was now. She wondered precisely how long would it take for the two love-struck teens to confess and get together.

Raven was snapped out of her reverie somewhat reluctantly by Beast Boy's stuttering.

"R-r-Rae? Did you just tell me how to make that cool move that helped me win against Cy?"

"No." She answered firmly, using her trusty book to cover a deepening blush.

Cyborg decided at this point to cut in, smiling a little.

"Uh, Raven? Why is your book upside down, then?"

_Huh? It is?_

She then noticed that all the words on the page were the wrong way round.

_...oh._

"That's because I was supposed to read it upside down." She calmly retorted.

Cyborg slowly nodded at her, still looking skeptical with a knowing smile.

Beast Boy just smiled goofily at her, knowing without asking that she was lying…he could sense it. Okay, maybe it was a bit obvious with the upside-down book and the blush and all.

No words…

He just got a good feeling because she had helped him instead of Cyborg. That meant a lot to him, even if it was just a teeny little thing.

O-kay, maybe he isn't just feel _good,_ he felt so happy he wanted to dance to Saturday Night Fever and sing 'Hallelujah', but that wasn't really the point.

What did he just say?

He flushed unwillingly and looked away, hoping that the others wouldn't notice. If they did, let's just say he'd be at Cy's mercy for approximately a month.

He was in luck, as their communicators flashed and beeped continuously, bringing both Raven and Beast Boy back to their senses.

"The H.I.V.E. is robbing the jewel store by the river. Titans, move out!"

With that, the usual picture of Robin, followed unusually by Starfire, faded to static.

"Well, what are we waiting for?"

xxxxxxxxxx

She blocked the wave of pink magic with a shield of black and too a quick glance around her.

Robin and Star were sparring with Mammoth while Cyborg and Beast Boy were taking on Gixmo.

That left her and Jinx.

No matter, really. She bore a grudge with Jinx, just like Cyborg and Gizmo, ever since she had insulted her cloak.

Unfortunately, her little look around gave the petite pink-haired witch that she was fighting an opportunity to send pink waves towards the unsuspecting girl.

"Hyaa!"

She ducked at the last moment and sneered at Jinx.

"Really, is that all you got?"

Her pinkish-purplish eyes flashed a shocking pink with anger.

"Hyaa!"

Jinx sent another, stronger line of bad luck towards her.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!"

She blocked it with her own black magic, and slowly forced her magic towards Jinx. She pushed back, just as hard, with her pink-coloured streak of energy.

This was going to be one hell of a fight.

Raven felt the magic crackling all around her, and decided to put a shield around her for some means of protection.

Apparently, Jinx had thought of the same thing, as she, too, raised a shield around her.

Raven growled. If she did manage to raise a shield, she wouldn't get hurt, and might just win. That wouldn't do.

A swirling black mass enveloped the pink haired sorceress, pulling the pink shield of magic down.

Jinx snarled angrily, struggling to pull the shield up. Raven, on the other hand, struggled to pull it down, while trying to keep her own shield raised. Not a piece of cake. Especially when you are trying to hurt the other with something at the same time.

For a three-foot tall, pink-haired, tiny sorceress, Jinx's powers were actually quite powerful. Not a good thing, either.

She needed someone to help, a distraction, whatever…

And it came in the form of Cyborg's sonic cannon, blasting Jinx to the ground, out of her shield of electric pink.

In tug-of-war, when the losing team lets go of the rope, the other falls to the ground because of one of Newton's world-famous laws.

It wasn't going to be very much different in a telekinetic tug-of-war battle.

Raven fell to the ground. Hard.

Raven could make shields and shoot magic, but she couldn't make another's magic disappear just like that. Technically, Jinx's shield was still up, only it wasn't protecting her. Then again, Jinx could summon that particular part of magic back, and make another shield.

With that thought, she had kept a hold on Jinx's magic, even when Cy had knocked her down.

Unfortunately for her, she had lost just a tiny, weeny, bit of concentration when she fell to the ground.

That tiny, little, bit of lost concentration made her lose control over her magic and Jinx's…

It didn't take a lot of strength to pull a seemingly-weightless blob of magic, did it?

Raven got up to see a black-and-pink-coloured shield rushing towards her, plowing anything in its path. And when I say anything, I mean anything.

_Move! Move, Raven, move your legs…_

But…she couldn't budge.

Her magic, still holding desperately on to Jinx's shield, was not in her control anymore, after her momentary lapse of concentration.

And her magic, being, well, _her _magic, was finding a way back to its owner.

Even if she ran, her magic would track her down, destroying everything in its way. Worse still, it came with a dose of Jinx's magic.

What's a girl to do?

She could try absorbing her magic back, but Jinx's magic would be impossible to absorb.

It would only be destroyed if she overloaded it, or if it ran out of steam. Option number two was the most appealing right now, but if she let it fizz for a while, it would most probably ruin a big portion of Jump City before stopping. Not such a good idea after all.

So, then. Option number one. Overload it. That is, if she could do it in time.

Not going to happen, seeing the shield come closer and closer. She would need hell of a lot of energy to actually overload it.

Option number three?

Duck…and hope for the best.

What's a girl to do?

She threw her cape haphazardly over her, to provide some form of shelter, shaking slightly. She couldn't really blame herself for being scared.

Wait for it…

She could feel it come closer, crackling madly with unfamiliar energy. Jinx's magic.

Closer…

Closer…

She braced herself for impact. Closed her eyes…maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she closed her eyes…

..And instead, found a pair of warm, friendly arms knocking her out of the way, sending her rolling to the ground. Bruised, maybe, but safe. And her savior's arms felt so mysteriously warm…so familiarly relaxing…

She cracked her eyes slowly open, scared of what she might see.

Beast Boy was sprawled out on the ground beside her, panting hard.

Actually, she was almost on top of him.

Sweat rolled down his forehead as he propped himself up.

_Don't stare…don't stare…don't…don't…!...Grrr…_

Beast Boy definitely was not the scrawny little green titan she had remembered. Nope. Definitely not.

She had a full view of his six-pack from here…A very sexy-looking set of muscles, she mused to herself.

_Wow…_

Where did that come from!

_Bad Raven! Bad Raven…must not think…bad Raven! Argh, stop thinking like that, mind! Dirty mind!_

The way he was panting didn't make it easier for her to stop fantasizing, either. Neither did the close proximity between him and her…that they could just lean forward and-

She blushed fiercely and averted her gaze. _Bad imagination…bad, bad mind!_

She watched as Cyborg shot a beam of blue light at the ball of magic, successfully overloading it.

_Thank god…_

…While trying to convince herself she was not, and will never, fall in love with anything that resembled a certain green-skinned, pointy-eared _someone._

Very, very hard.

P_eace, calm, tranquility…_

…_Peace, calm, tranquility!..._

Very, very, _very, very _hard.

Why did she have to like him? Of all people, of all her friends-why him?

Wait-did she just admit that she liked Beast Boy?

She groaned, still a peculiar-looking shade of pink, and made a move to get up, wincing. She felt sore in about a hundred different places.

Beast Boy, having finally matured over the year, helped her up instead.

"Thank you."

He flashed a handsome smile at her, one that made her knees turn to mush.

"Anything for a pretty Raven."

Her eyes widened considerably, cheeks redder in comparison to a tomato on fire. In other words, she was blushing…hard.

Okay. She did not, and I will repeat, _did not _just say that her knees turned to mush. That stuff was meant only, and I mean _only, _for the sappy romance novels that she would never admit she ever read. She also did not blush at that wonderfully pathetic attempt at flirting on Beast boy's part.

Wonderfully pathetic? Does that even exist in Beast Boy's meager vocabulary?

She groaned again. Everything she thought about led to him. Why…why did she have to be tortured this way?

Although it is very _nice _torture, she mused to herself.

_Here we go again…_

xxxxxxxxxx

"Tofu!"

"Meat!"

"Tofu!"

"Meat!"

"I say tofu and that's final!"

"MEAT. Do I have to spell it out for you? M-E-A-T."

Raven sat up, a vein pulsing in her forehead. As much as she missed their daily quarrels, this was already getting annoying.

"Why do you guys even bother? We always get the cheese pizza anyway."

"Actually, I have no idea."

Groaning, the masked leader turned to the amused waitress next to him and ordered the regular cheese special. And, of course, a little mustard.

Raven hid a small smile.

It was good to be back.

Still…

She couldn't help but wonder what Slade was up to. The voice in her head haunted her…tearing her up inside with desire to know.

Why?

xxxxxxxxxx

Darkness…smoky darkness…choking, suffocating black…surrounding a face…

A face the Titans learned to hate.

"Soon, my little Raven."

The voice burned with maliciousness…with loathing…

With…

Revenge.

"Soon."

And the sound of maniacal laughter filled the never-ending gloom.

**A/N:Sorry for the long wait. A (Sucky) combination of writer's block and stuff….you do the math. Anyway, I'm trying to squeeze in this. I promise I'll churn out another chapter, but the fastest I can get it out is in about five days. Nothing less. **

**I found another author who used "Butterfly tears" in a similar concept. Pricess Starfire of Tamaran, if you're out there, please understand that I didn't copy you. All of chapters were inspired by songs, and as you can see, that particular chap was inspired by Mariah Carey's "Butterfly". (If you would like a list of the songs I use, jut e-mail me.)**

**The plot is slow…I'll have to say that. Sigh..I'm trying to figure out how to bring in the climax of my plot, but my brain is currently not listening to me. Oh, and this particular chappie is relatively short. Urm…sorrie! Don't KILL ME!**

**I'm currently looking for more constructive critism, or some suggestions, please. (This AN is LONG. Sorry 'bout that, just wanted to clear things up.) **

**Well…Merry Christmas to all of you!**


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